Smart Kid

Heading out of the dentist, I have the pleasure of over hearing this exchange between a mother and her daughter. Please keep in mind while the mother is focused on her daughter who is focused on her next treat, the father is cautiously guiding his two lovely ladies through the lobby and the walking traffic.

Kid: Mommy, I want gum. Mommy, I want my gum.

Mom: Not until you finish your lollipop.

Kid [without skipping a beat]: *Crunch*

Both Parents: [Look wide eyed at their daughter.]

Me [Bursts into laughter]: "Baha! Smart kid."

Petition for Public Flogging

Something I think our forefathers had right and at times, let's face it, is totally justified into todays day and age.

Thusly, I bring you: Things People Should Be Flogged Publicly- A Wonderful, Ranting List of "Seriously." and "Seriously?!" F*cked-Uped Habits by Humanity.

No. 1:

Whilst driving: That one driver (most likely in a Prius, but occasionally in a Mini) who, bless him/her, has the 'nads to right-on-red turn into your lane, only to then proceed at a snail's pace.

[But wait, there's more]

Only to then, upon the next quick-yellow-to-red light, BLOW THE OBVIOUSLY RED LIGHT.

But why sir/madam? But. Why?

You're honor,

Petition for Public Flogging on these grounds.

Black Where It Counts

Dear Caucasian Suitor,

When you confess to being, "Black where it counts," I sincerely hope you mean that you have a deeply rooted sense of pride in African American history as well as our true and positive culture, respect for "your" people-particularly for strong Black women as a whole and for those in matriarchal roles- and a great sense of rhythm and soul when you move to a beat.


Sincerely (not) yours,

This Cocoa Mocha-Latte (unamused) Mamacita

Too Soon, Bro

Me and my boo bear are cuddled up on the couch- my head resting on his stomach, one of his arms draped over my torso- watching a movie. I am beaming with girlish delight, day dreaming about the possibility of my 'just me' turning into a 'just us' in the near future. Then suddenly, my head detects the slightest, but recognizable grumble from his abdominals- and before I could pray for that grumble to travel north....


My thought bubble: "Oh no this n**** didn't?!"

Pokin' The Papa Bear

Phone conversation with my daddy dukes (NB: my dad isn't one for the doctors and modern medicine. We basically have to sedate him and drop him off in the waiting room for his annual/semi-annual visits):


Me: "Hey, Pops, you taking care of yourself?"

Papa Bear: "Yes, Baby, you'll be happy to hear that I'm going for my colonoscopy next week."

Me: "Yikes, well, you make sure the doc buys who dinner first- because you are a lady."

Papa Bear: "He-well, wait, I see what you did there..."


Adulthood means being able to sass your father and he doesn't somehow pop your mouth through the phone receiver. Hello, world, I have arrived.

No Price Tag

And for good reason. There is nothing you could provide me that I can't acquire on my own or live without it.




Please take note, and act accordingly.

That Moment: Old Soul, New Tech

That moment...


When you almost set a sexy snap as your public story....




Please tell me we've all been there...?