Walking away from all the bs.
Saturday, September 21, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Hand Placement
I don't know how else to put this.
Fellas: I am not your girlfriend. Do not go for the "polite" a$$ grab during a "friendly" hug. Yes, I notice your strategic cuppage and that slight pause you take to gauge the chances of my wearing underwear. Knock it the f*ck off. Skootch that hand up five clicks to a lovely place called "The Friend Zone".
Cheers.
Fellas: I am not your girlfriend. Do not go for the "polite" a$$ grab during a "friendly" hug. Yes, I notice your strategic cuppage and that slight pause you take to gauge the chances of my wearing underwear. Knock it the f*ck off. Skootch that hand up five clicks to a lovely place called "The Friend Zone".
Cheers.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
This Is A Terrible Idea
In his black wool winter coat, pressed button up, and khaki slacks, Quinto emerged out of the buzzing crowd, took the cigarette out of his mouth, looked me in the eye and with a surprising amount of sober sincerity considering the night's activities said to me, "I just want to go on record as saying that this is a bad idea. That's all." Waved himself off before replacing the cigarette between his lips and disappearing once more into the crowd.
Ever since then, before I make any obvious drunk and stupid decision, I hear Quinto's voice of reason, admit that he was as right as he would be now, and gracefully exit-stage-left the situation.
And then last night happened....and no amount of reason nor foresight could deter my determination....crap.
Ever since then, before I make any obvious drunk and stupid decision, I hear Quinto's voice of reason, admit that he was as right as he would be now, and gracefully exit-stage-left the situation.
And then last night happened....and no amount of reason nor foresight could deter my determination....crap.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Product Placement.
Every time I log off of Facebook, I'm greeted with an ad from Match.com inviting me to meet local singles. All I can say at this point is, "Facebook, did my mother put you up to this?"
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Charmed.
Text from one Casanova: Hey it's me - you still looking for a good lay tonight?
Just take a moment and let that reality sink in. Yea. That's what my love life has been reduced to.
One charming mother f*cker, isn't he?
Just take a moment and let that reality sink in. Yea. That's what my love life has been reduced to.
One charming mother f*cker, isn't he?
A Letter to the City Slickers
Dear sirs of the city: if you look weird, act weird, and come up to my shoulder, please do not approach me unless the first words out your mouth are, "I have her tab for the night, bartender."
First Date Inquiry
What's a polite way of telling him, "in case you turn out to be psychotic or boring, I want an escape plan in place. Let's take two cars and meet there."?
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