Petition for Public Flogging

Something I think our forefathers had right and at times, let's face it, is totally justified into todays day and age.

Thusly, I bring you: Things People Should Be Flogged Publicly- A Wonderful, Ranting List of "Seriously." and "Seriously?!" F*cked-Uped Habits by Humanity.

No. 1:

Whilst driving: That one driver (most likely in a Prius, but occasionally in a Mini) who, bless him/her, has the 'nads to right-on-red turn into your lane, only to then proceed at a snail's pace.

[But wait, there's more]

Only to then, upon the next quick-yellow-to-red light, BLOW THE OBVIOUSLY RED LIGHT.

But why sir/madam? But. Why?

You're honor,

Petition for Public Flogging on these grounds.

Black Where It Counts

Dear Caucasian Suitor,

When you confess to being, "Black where it counts," I sincerely hope you mean that you have a deeply rooted sense of pride in African American history as well as our true and positive culture, respect for "your" people-particularly for strong Black women as a whole and for those in matriarchal roles- and a great sense of rhythm and soul when you move to a beat.


Sincerely (not) yours,

This Cocoa Mocha-Latte (unamused) Mamacita

Too Soon, Bro

Me and my boo bear are cuddled up on the couch- my head resting on his stomach, one of his arms draped over my torso- watching a movie. I am beaming with girlish delight, day dreaming about the possibility of my 'just me' turning into a 'just us' in the near future. Then suddenly, my head detects the slightest, but recognizable grumble from his abdominals- and before I could pray for that grumble to travel north....


My thought bubble: "Oh no this n**** didn't?!"

Pokin' The Papa Bear

Phone conversation with my daddy dukes (NB: my dad isn't one for the doctors and modern medicine. We basically have to sedate him and drop him off in the waiting room for his annual/semi-annual visits):


Me: "Hey, Pops, you taking care of yourself?"

Papa Bear: "Yes, Baby, you'll be happy to hear that I'm going for my colonoscopy next week."

Me: "Yikes, well, you make sure the doc buys who dinner first- because you are a lady."

Papa Bear: "He-well, wait, I see what you did there..."


Adulthood means being able to sass your father and he doesn't somehow pop your mouth through the phone receiver. Hello, world, I have arrived.

No Price Tag

And for good reason. There is nothing you could provide me that I can't acquire on my own or live without it.




Please take note, and act accordingly.

That Moment: Old Soul, New Tech

That moment...


When you almost set a sexy snap as your public story....




Please tell me we've all been there...?

"I don't want to be tied down"

Fellas, give it a try. You may actually like it.


                                            Plus, I don't want to be tied up before you're tied down.