Text conversation with Daddy Warbucks:
Me: So when we gonna hang out again?
DW: Idk, just been laying low this week.
Me: Same here. Cops after you, too? =P
DW: Nope, just talking with my ex. Supposed to be being good
Me [sees all my hopes and dreams of having a sugar daddy fly away once more out of reach]: Awwwwwww, good luck!
DW: I wanted to invite you over last night!!
Me [stunned]: I don't think that counts as being good...unless you were looking to play board games all night long haha [super uncomfortable text laugh]
DW: Headboard games count? >=P
Me [buries face into palms]: You're awful! Haha [awkward uncomfortable buffer laugh] I should be wishing her good luck!Well I only text you because I thought of you the other day. Best wishes to you both. Don't be a stranger when you become boring and monogamous! =P
DW: I'm so ready!!
Me [it's late, I don't respond, but I think, "Awwwww, that's so cute! He's ready to put is pimp cup down and be a one-woman's-man!"]
[The next morning, I check my phone. See a new text from DW. It reads:]
DW: For you...
Me [scowls and thinks]: *@^*^#@!^!?! Son. of. a....
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