Social Cues

If I don't ask you how you are doing...


     It's not because I've lost my manners....




                                                 It's because I don't care to know.


Take the hint.

Courtship 101

Text message with a "some guy". Gave him the run around a few days, and then this conversation happened:

SG: Ha, yea, sounds like a full day. We should hang out soon though. Let me know when you free up.

Me: Sure, but let's make this simpler: do you mean "hang out" in public or "hang out" like in college? Because I am honestly not interested in the latter. Just to save you the trouble...

SG: I was going to suggest lunch...

Me: I can do lunch.

Go to move: Puns

At an oyster bar downtown with a nice young man.

Youngin': Do you like oysters?

Me: [Grimaces, pauses, and replies with a smile] Mmmmm, I could maybe mussel through a few.

Youngin': [Politely chuckles.]

Waiter: [Dies a little bit more inside.]

Mother knows best

Mom: What happened to that Man Piece you were seeing over the summer?

Me: He went crazy and cursed me out via text while I was at work.

Mom: [pauses briefly] You really need to find a new type.