What Constitutes "Adult Behavior" Exactly?

Things fell through with an older fella I was wasting time with earlier this year. Below is one of the highlights of the text-off.  This is what I get for telling the truth, regardless of the consequences...

Text: "I thought you were a mature woman. Turns out your just a casual little girl..."

[Pause] [Cringe] [Then forgive the misuse of "your"]

[React]: "Didn't you send me a dick pic?!"




In his defense, said dick pic was as R rated as one could get with this kind of shot, but still. Keep it in your pants and off digital media, sir.

Revenge Plot

Never get mad nor even.

                                                   Get better and be fabulous.


Cheers.

Tell me you love me

When you're sober, you're referring to all of me-the good, the bad, the ugly, the very ugly, the crazy, the good-kind-of-crazy- and when you mean it.


Jack@ss.

How I feel most nights out....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Truth

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or they don't match my outfit.

Friend Zoned.

Due to recent events, I feel it is very important I put my feelings about what it means to be "friend zoned" (by me) down in black and white and published all over.

If I like you, care about you, want good things for you, want to see you happy, pray for you, and generally enjoy your company, then let me let you in on a little secret: we are friends.


If I am hoping I am out before dawn, I never learn your middle name (you have a middle name?!), and that I don't stumble into your roommate during my escape only to find out he's "the hot one," etc.. News flash: we're not friends, and you serve only one purpose.


I don't mix the two "zones". I don't like mixing the two zones. If you mix the two zones, I drop out the middle part of that latter zone description and that "one purpose" pumps up to several purposes and before you know I'm imagining what future offspring may look like and if I'd want to take on your last name or hyphenate (Hyphenate.)

So yea, cut the sh*t and know your role.

Cheers.

[Grand]Mother Knows Best

I recently took up cooking. I know, at this age it's not really a hobby and more of a "yea, duh, you're an adult now; and this is a basic survival skill," but, honestly, I think the ability to get dinner out of an unsuspecting suitor and seamlessly slip away into the night before he has a clue but he definitely has the check is a pretty necessary skill to have, but I digress.

Like any novice cook, I have a ton of questions [for example, I called my mom from the grocery store because I didn't know what scallions are]. One of those questions really stems from an observation:

You ever notice how your mother will suggest one way to prepare a meal [, a career, a life, a man, a family, and the list goes on] and your grandmother will suggest a completely different way of preparing the same meal [, career, life, man, family, etc.]?

So whose wisdom do you heed? Who got it right and who got it...mmmm, not so right?
Funny how women will spend a lifetime nurturing a child only to have her grow up to declare, ever so boldly, "f*ck pot roast, we're doing Tof-erkey for dinner!" and other variations of rebellion [in career choices, life choices, "man? pffft, who needs one?!", etc.]

It's always interesting to find out who knows best. Who knows, right?