Have. Want?

Dear Sir, you have me. Decide if you want me.

Last time I pop this question.

My first, last, and only marriage proposal delivered over text:

Young Hot NYC Lawyer: Soft consonants are a hoot.

Me:...marry me? Please?

Young Hot NYC Lawyer: Hahahaha! Ha! Shite, that was funnier than a soft consonant.

Me: [laugh cry] Haha, awesome. You just laughed at my marriage proposal. Never trying that move again.

[Long a$$ torturous pause]

Me: and on that lovely note, good night!
[begins collecting the remains of her pride]

Young Hot NYC Lawyer: Night, night.

[Throws arms up and let's tattered remains scatter to the ground as she walks away and concludes, "fuck it."]

Genre of dance.

When asked by a young man if I was a runner, I replied with the implied truth, "no, I am not a runner. I stay fit by dancing" when I simply stated that I was not a runner, but a dancer. I think he reasoned "exotic" was implied by my descriptive noun, "dancer" as he continued leering at me as I hurried to my car. It's either he thought I was a stripper, or he has a perverted appreciation for Russian style ballet.

Never too late.

Driving by the a newly weds taking their wedding photos as they walk down a city street. Happen to catch eyes with the grooms joyous. Winks at him and gestures "call me" with a sexy, alluring smile to finish before turning left on the perpendicular street heading in the opposite direction of the lovely couple.

No apologies, I just couldn't help myself.

23 hours later...

This post is not out of jealousy. Fully possible that you whipped the bastard into shape [in which case, kudos to you!] over these past few years,

but my first impression of the guy was shaped by knowing the night after you met your still-going-strong boyfriend, the one who spent that whole night wooing you, he bought condoms with the intentions of bedding another girl...

Your mother said she loves me.

Your family adores me. What the hell is your hold up?

Tactile dysfunction.

Touching him in the present and remembering one from the past while wishing he were another in the near future. 




Such a sensory overload.