Joys, cont.:

[Scene: being addressed by a balding, "32" yr old man in my favorite bar lounge where a bartender I went out on a few dates with is working that night] Patron: "Ayo, so you like--[spittle splatters across my cheek, prompting me to search for a way, any way, out- sadly to no avail] Ayo, am I spitting on you?" Me: "Yes, yes you are." Patron: "Ayo, but look at these lips! [displays lips]" Me:[still desperate, turns to the bartender and mouths,"help me"] Bartender [calmly wiping down bottles]: "You are a grown ass woman; do it yourself." Me: [disillusioned, replies to bartender] "Ugh, fine. [Turns to Patron] please stop talking to me."