The "Not" Girlfriend

Sometimes, when he's asked, "Oh, so she's your....?" and he replies, "Friend." I really want to place one hand on my hip, turn to him and remark, "That's not what you saaaiiiiid last night!" Full Black-woman head snake and all.
 

Size matters.

Chick at the bridal store said she'd pull me a size 6 to get me fitted. I said 4 or 6 should work. She brought back both (smart woman) and when I closed the clasp on the size 4 she exclaimed, 'Oh, you are a 4!"

Don't look so surprised, b****. Question me again and I will cut you.

Mexican Tap Water

A tweet on Texts from Last Night reads, "I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron."

Honey, sometimes a man is thirsty and he'll risk a mean case of the shits to get some...

Gender appropriate conversations

Text message conversation:

Me: I have to go to a bridesmaids' dress fitting for my sister's wedding. I'm freaking out!

Quinto: You'll be ok. This is more of a girlfriend conversation maybe?

Me: Ooo, wrong box.

When you're right, you're right

I first used this expression to put out a developing argument between my divorced parents one time when I was a teen. It had since stuck with me as it has some validity. When you are correct in your thought- word- deed- what have you, and I mean undeniably in the right, though no others may recognize your rightness, then all you want is for sometime to acknowledge that you are indeed right. Sometimes that's all someone wants. They don't want to just peacefully back down without any recognition of the pride they are swallowing to appease the opposed party.

That all being said: you, sir, were right. Your delivery sucked, but the content is true.


Here's to finding my Mr. Right.


Because when you're right, you're right.

Chivalry has a chance

To the two teenage boys who held the door to Dunkin Donuts open for me this morning:

Thank you both for your kind gesture that reaffirmed my faith in mankind and expedited my acquiring of my peppermint mocha fix.

Warm Regards.

Turn ons exclude.

Found out today that the idea of a relationship with me is a huge turn off, BUT nooooot with that other woman.


Awwwweeesome.