Because no one can tell me what to do, I went against my friend's wishes to not exchange gifts this year and put together a meaningful gift (he had mentioned needing a scarf in regular conversation) and a gag gift (got my very Italian friend a little Black angel Christmas tree ornament. Friend win.) Not to be out done, he took this whole gifting thing to a dark place and made it a competition. Here he is talking isht about his present for moi.
Quinto: I will win the ornament discussion
Me: Lol this was not meant to be a competition! You are ruining the meaning of the delightful Black angel!
Quinto: The Black angel is awesome. I'm just going to beat it.
Me: ...you wanna re-word that?
Quinto: Nope, I stand by the whole thing.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Roomba
I have some amazing guy friends who are sincere, caring, thoughtful, honest, (and single, ladies *wink*). They put up with my shenanigans and my constant requests for insightful advice that I inevitably neglect while in hot pursuit of my next regret.
One of my new favorite people, (and producer of our pending podcast) Quinto, is often subjected to my stories. While I was recounting the flaky actions of one particular bad decision, he cut me off to deliver this gem:
"I got it. I got it. Look, it sounds to me like most of these guys you're dealing with are just like a Roomba- you know, the little robotic vacuum that that rolls across the floor, bounces back and changes direction when it runs into an obstacle."
"A Roomba just looking to put things in places?" I ask. "Yea," he responds, "perfect! They try their luck with you, they get a wall, they bounce back and try their luck in another room, and occasionally they make it back to you. Bounce back. Try their luck somewhere else. Come back to you. Meets the wall. Repeat."
No more Roombas.
One of my new favorite people, (and producer of our pending podcast) Quinto, is often subjected to my stories. While I was recounting the flaky actions of one particular bad decision, he cut me off to deliver this gem:
"I got it. I got it. Look, it sounds to me like most of these guys you're dealing with are just like a Roomba- you know, the little robotic vacuum that that rolls across the floor, bounces back and changes direction when it runs into an obstacle."
"A Roomba just looking to put things in places?" I ask. "Yea," he responds, "perfect! They try their luck with you, they get a wall, they bounce back and try their luck in another room, and occasionally they make it back to you. Bounce back. Try their luck somewhere else. Come back to you. Meets the wall. Repeat."
No more Roombas.
Achilles' heel
Realizing, even still, that I am a sucker for blue eyes and a nice smile.
Hope you didn't notice my knees buckle as I approached.
I have a reputation to maintain and all that. . .
Hope you didn't notice my knees buckle as I approached.
I have a reputation to maintain and all that. . .
Liquidation.
When left to my own devices, I am decisive. I can declare "I am over you" like the rapids course over a pebble.
Then I see that sideways smirk. And your confident stride. And those kind, brown eyes.
And I melt like an ice cube on a hot stone.
Then I see that sideways smirk. And your confident stride. And those kind, brown eyes.
And I melt like an ice cube on a hot stone.
Sunday, December 23, 2012
A good guy: my new norm
So I was describing this WONDERFUL guy I've started dating to a friend. I seek her advise as I'm a little nervous because he's AMAZING and, if you've kept up with my blog you'll know, I'm not used to this kind of guy. "I've never been treated like this before!" I begin "He's so sweet, respectful, patient. When I ask for something, it's taken care of! He's considerate. He's perfect!"
My friend responded, "Well, yea, this is how you're supposed to be treated. . .so enjoy it! [pauses, probably perplexed] Wait what do you mean you've never been treated like this before?- You know what, never mind, I don't want to know- this is how you're supposed to be treated so don't worry and just enjoy."
My friend responded, "Well, yea, this is how you're supposed to be treated. . .so enjoy it! [pauses, probably perplexed] Wait what do you mean you've never been treated like this before?- You know what, never mind, I don't want to know- this is how you're supposed to be treated so don't worry and just enjoy."
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Taste for "vanilla"
I'm beginning to see the appeal for "the boring". For someone who is the foil to the crazy pace of life.
This stems from a few things: first being the tendency for guys I date to drop me like a bag of bricks for the next aesthetically pleasing, tame thing that walks on by. The second is from a crush I have on a coworker who's from an external vendor.
My work crush is probably, or at least seemingly, the most vanilla person I've ever met. But he always greets me with a sweet, off-center smile. Who doesn't want that? Someone who is 1) happy to see you 2) willing to show this excitement in a socially acceptable manner.
So yes, I doubt I'll introduce him to my nightlife habits and pasties outfits, BUT I'd definitely take him up on a cup of coffee from the the work kiosk if he ever offered. I'd probably order a flavored coffee or chai, just to spice things up, but still. . .
This stems from a few things: first being the tendency for guys I date to drop me like a bag of bricks for the next aesthetically pleasing, tame thing that walks on by. The second is from a crush I have on a coworker who's from an external vendor.
My work crush is probably, or at least seemingly, the most vanilla person I've ever met. But he always greets me with a sweet, off-center smile. Who doesn't want that? Someone who is 1) happy to see you 2) willing to show this excitement in a socially acceptable manner.
So yes, I doubt I'll introduce him to my nightlife habits and pasties outfits, BUT I'd definitely take him up on a cup of coffee from the the work kiosk if he ever offered. I'd probably order a flavored coffee or chai, just to spice things up, but still. . .
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
High School Called
"Those two either need to f*ck or fight." A friend's comment on my and a high school rival's more recent interactions...
I can assure you the more fun of the two will not be going down. And either way, I fight dirty and play rough.
I can assure you the more fun of the two will not be going down. And either way, I fight dirty and play rough.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Testing loyalties
I still hang out with some of the friends of my 'ex' waste of time [because his friends are AW-some]. One of the latest to turn to the Beige side [referencing my complexion-see bio picture if you're not familiar] accompanied me and some other friends of mine to a holiday party featured at a local strip joint. Here's our conversation during the beginning moments of our budding friendship:
Me: Welcome to my life. [Grins, opens arms wide in a welcoming gesture.]
Friend: I can't believe this is your life. [Looks around with boyish wonder.] It's like a movie!
Me: You know you want to be my friend. Why fight it any longer? I know where your loyalties lie, and I am sure he does also. I am awesome, and you know this. It will be ok [places hand on his shoulder], you can have both worlds. Now come [places hand on his shoulder blade], let's watch Fuego drop it like it's hot [we both turn to the stage and watch the next performer.]
Me: Welcome to my life. [Grins, opens arms wide in a welcoming gesture.]
Friend: I can't believe this is your life. [Looks around with boyish wonder.] It's like a movie!
Me: You know you want to be my friend. Why fight it any longer? I know where your loyalties lie, and I am sure he does also. I am awesome, and you know this. It will be ok [places hand on his shoulder], you can have both worlds. Now come [places hand on his shoulder blade], let's watch Fuego drop it like it's hot [we both turn to the stage and watch the next performer.]
Pick your spots (because he asked for it)
Texts message conversation about our impromptu visit to a local titty bar for its holiday party event night:
Quinto: You never know when trivia is gonna turn into stripper Christmas, so pick your spots. I did.
Quinto: That is solid life advice. Blog that shit.
Quinto: You never know when trivia is gonna turn into stripper Christmas, so pick your spots. I did.
Quinto: That is solid life advice. Blog that shit.
Sunday, December 9, 2012
Pros and Cons
On the one hand, I sincerely want nothing more in the world than to care for him and make him smile and support him and his dreams as he would do the same for me.
On the other, I really don't look forward to turning down all the free stuff I get from men still hoping to score...Their gamblers logic has been most profitable for me.
On the other, I really don't look forward to turning down all the free stuff I get from men still hoping to score...Their gamblers logic has been most profitable for me.
Diversity adverstising
Text message conversation between me and a guy I met one night. He had come from work, and although his profession is not in education, he looked like a classic university professor- hence his nick name:
The Professor: In Hoboken.....Ugly fat girls..... =(
Me: Is this your way of saying you miss us small town ladies?
The Professor: I ended up finding a Levi Jeans model =)...Sucker for long legs
Me: Haha, thadda boy! Way to turn that frown upside down.
The Professor: She looked like you.
Me: In the sense that she too has breasts? In which case, I'm sure she and I could be twins! Lol.
[Long pause in his response.]
Me: You're not in trouble. No need to BS ;)
The Professor: She has your complexion. I must be advertising I need a little diversity. ;)
Me [thinks]: A billboard would be more appropriate at this point.
The Professor: In Hoboken.....Ugly fat girls..... =(
Me: Is this your way of saying you miss us small town ladies?
The Professor: I ended up finding a Levi Jeans model =)...Sucker for long legs
Me: Haha, thadda boy! Way to turn that frown upside down.
The Professor: She looked like you.
Me: In the sense that she too has breasts? In which case, I'm sure she and I could be twins! Lol.
[Long pause in his response.]
Me: You're not in trouble. No need to BS ;)
The Professor: She has your complexion. I must be advertising I need a little diversity. ;)
Me [thinks]: A billboard would be more appropriate at this point.
Black Onyx.
Earlier this year I met a great man. He's funny, sharp- in both wit and dress- can dance, caring, genuine, fun to look at, all around perfect.
So naturally I blew him off for the remainder of this year for less worthy subjects.
As luck would have it, by the end of this year, he and I happened to cross pass paths again. An apology was exchanged (along with a shot of top shelf tequila) from me to him and we got to talking. The following Sunday night we met up for dinner and movie. He covered everything and demanded nothing in return.
The next time we met up was the Thursday night of that same week we reunited. We met up with friends. We successfully got plastered. Lit. Gone. Half way between Mendoza and San Juan. Drunky pants. This state was achieved by 11pm. With the night still so very young, we decided to meet up with other friends at a late night art expo at a local club. At the venue, one of the remaining vendors was a crystal jewelry shop. Our friends happened to be next to this jewelry stand. My date and I approach my friends.
Correction, I approach my friends, he stares at the table display of various crystal jewelry designs and declares " you need a crystal. [He noticed the small animal display piece soon after noticing the necklaces.] A crystal, and an animal skull." He then asks if I like this large clear quartz that's attached to a leather cord to make a necklace. I decline, and since he seems determined, I glance at the displays in front of me. I notice a black onyx crystal wrapped in gold wiring hanging by a black metal chain.
"Here, this one. I like this one." I pick it up and show it to him. "Cool, you put that on," he says to me, "and you take my money" he says to the vendor lady. "Cool." She smiles and goes to get his change.
Second date and he buys me jewelry. A black onyx. For protection.
So naturally I blew him off for the remainder of this year for less worthy subjects.
As luck would have it, by the end of this year, he and I happened to cross pass paths again. An apology was exchanged (along with a shot of top shelf tequila) from me to him and we got to talking. The following Sunday night we met up for dinner and movie. He covered everything and demanded nothing in return.
The next time we met up was the Thursday night of that same week we reunited. We met up with friends. We successfully got plastered. Lit. Gone. Half way between Mendoza and San Juan. Drunky pants. This state was achieved by 11pm. With the night still so very young, we decided to meet up with other friends at a late night art expo at a local club. At the venue, one of the remaining vendors was a crystal jewelry shop. Our friends happened to be next to this jewelry stand. My date and I approach my friends.
Correction, I approach my friends, he stares at the table display of various crystal jewelry designs and declares " you need a crystal. [He noticed the small animal display piece soon after noticing the necklaces.] A crystal, and an animal skull." He then asks if I like this large clear quartz that's attached to a leather cord to make a necklace. I decline, and since he seems determined, I glance at the displays in front of me. I notice a black onyx crystal wrapped in gold wiring hanging by a black metal chain.
"Here, this one. I like this one." I pick it up and show it to him. "Cool, you put that on," he says to me, "and you take my money" he says to the vendor lady. "Cool." She smiles and goes to get his change.
Second date and he buys me jewelry. A black onyx. For protection.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Spare pair.
In the heat of the moment, he literally ripped my panties off. I would have been very turned on...
...if it wasn't one of my favorite pair.
...if it wasn't one of my favorite pair.
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