Friend Zoned.

Due to recent events, I feel it is very important I put my feelings about what it means to be "friend zoned" (by me) down in black and white and published all over.

If I like you, care about you, want good things for you, want to see you happy, pray for you, and generally enjoy your company, then let me let you in on a little secret: we are friends.


If I am hoping I am out before dawn, I never learn your middle name (you have a middle name?!), and that I don't stumble into your roommate during my escape only to find out he's "the hot one," etc.. News flash: we're not friends, and you serve only one purpose.


I don't mix the two "zones". I don't like mixing the two zones. If you mix the two zones, I drop out the middle part of that latter zone description and that "one purpose" pumps up to several purposes and before you know I'm imagining what future offspring may look like and if I'd want to take on your last name or hyphenate (Hyphenate.)

So yea, cut the sh*t and know your role.

Cheers.